Distant & Depressed: How to Help Your Teen Come Through COVID Loneliness

The pandemic is mean. Especially to teens.

Young people live for friends and classmates. They are made for hanging out and cruising around. Milestones and big decisions are supposed to make every day an adventure.

Yet now, so frustratingly, much of that has been whittled down to a homebound, “stay safe” existence. It all flies in the face of the independence and interaction teens crave.

As a parent watching all of this unfold, you may now realize that you are also watching distance grow in your relationship and depression settle on your teen’s face. You know it’s time to do something to help. 

Good for you. Don’t wait. Consider the next few steps to help your teen manage their COVID loneliness and find some relief:

Be Your Teen’s Comfort Zone

Your teen may seem sullen, sad, or even angry at you right now.  Try not to take it all too personally. Instead, lean toward them with open arms.  Your teen may be more sensitive than they lead you to believe. Slowly build a conversation about what they want, what they need, and what they wish would happen.

As a general rule, talk to your teen but listen twice as much. Encourage honesty and let them know you are okay with whatever they are feeling. Most of all, remind your teen that they aren’t alone.

It may seem obvious, but have an honest conversation with your teen. Ask questions about their world. How is the schoolwork? What are they and their friends doing on TikTok? Is the quarantine raising any fears or frustrations that they want to get off their chest?

Stay open and nonjudgmental. Give mental health discussions room and approval.

Get Socially Creative

The reality is, even a shy teen, wants peer-to-peer interaction. Whether they just like being around others or relish being the center of attention, to suddenly lose time with other kids their age strikes at their social center. Belonging is vital. Gauging acceptance, teaming up, coupling up are all incredibly important to teenagers. Talking face to face, hugging, sharing a meal, all of it matters. 

Show your teen that you are open to brainstorming safe and frequent socialization options.

If their school relationships are lagging, it may be that the comparisons to the in-person alternative are too much to bear. Instead, suggest other ways they could connect with teens. Interest-based activities, library classes, college-prep forums, or other online groups can draw teens together with something in common. Having never met before, (and possibly living in various parts of the world) online gatherings may feel like enough for now.

Also, invite and include your teen in as much as possible. Any safe group projects, family plans, activism, worship, and volunteer activities, can support their feelings of connection and inclusion.

Help Your Teen to Look to the “Other Side”

If your teen seems stuck in their season of grief, help them push back against the ruminations and helplessness that fuels hopelessness.  Talk about future plans and how you look forward to them.  Be honest but reassuring. The pandemic won’t last forever. Remind your teen that nothing ever does. Life gets better. Carefully model realistic positivity.

Support Inner Connection Too

If your teen is passing up opportunities to reach out to others, they may need more emotional support. If they sleep all the time, won’t come out of their room, and seem too stressed to connect, be a self-care example.

Offer some direction for stress relief. Encourage them to set some small, reachable goals. This provides purpose and a sense of accomplishment.

Better yet, invite them to participate with you as you fight pandemic fatigue. Exercise, healthy meal prep, and commit to prayer or meditation sessions together. Watch and recreate YouTube projects or complete web classes. Suggest journaling, a mini book club, and/or music lessons as creative outlets. Promote the idea of self-awareness and self-compassion.

Suggest Another Place to Be Seen and Heard

Be honest with yourself and look closely at what is happening with your teen. If your teenager is anxious, depressed, or hurting, seek out help. Online sessions with a therapist are often a welcome relief for teens. It’s worth the effort to make the option available.

Often, teens prefer to share their hearts and minds with someone other than their parents. It’s perfectly natural. The goal is to have them share openly with someone safe.

Let us help your teen cope and provide another escape from their loneliness and isolation. Please read more about teen counseling and contact us soon for a consultation.

KEYWORDS: Teen Counseling in Maryland, Relationship Counseling for Teens, Teen counseling during COVID, Teen Counseling Montgomery County